Anxiety

Last time I spoke about the need to get your audience to listen to you. Now I want to speak about public speaking anxiety. Not to worry --- everyone who isn’t a narcissist gets nervous. Everyone!

Why? Fear of forgetting what you want to say, worry about whether your listeners will like you, most of all fear of making a fool of yourself.

Solution to Public Speaking Anxiety?

It’s not about you! It’s always about “them”!

 Unless someone is in the jewelry or menswear business, in one week no one will remember your earrings or the color of your shirt. What they will remember is that you made them feel that you cared about them enough to share with them some great ideas that they can use. That you made them feel important. Maya Angelou said it:

“People won’t remember what you said or how you looked. But they will always remember how you made them feel.”

 Once you’ve established for them that you’re focused on each of them (their personal most important person in the room), and they recognize that you’re giving them something that’s of importance to them, you’ve won their trust. Now they’re ready to listen up.

 So, plan, prepare and rehearse ahead of time, and then forget all about yourself when you’re speaking to your listeners. Think about who they are focused on --- themselves! The more you can do this, and the less you focus on yourself, the more relaxed and successful you’ll be. (Forget multi-tasking ---- you cannot think about them and you at the same time J

 Focus solely on them:

. Do they look puzzled? Say ‘I’d better clarify that point. Say something like, “I’m not sure I was clear – let me say this another way…’ (Secret --- never blame them or even ask them if they ‘got it.’ Seldom will anyone acknowledge that they are in the dark. It’s up to you to take the blame if you see that they are lost.)

 Are they leaning in to better listen?

If the latter, you’re a leader they’ll want to listen to and follow. Really!